all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
