Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
