So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
