She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
