why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
