i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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