i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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