between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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