does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize