Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
