Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you made out with another girl for some wings
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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