i can't believe i had my finger in that
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
