The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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