Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
