True but thats because hes a fetus.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
