i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone came in the potted fern
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize