So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
