I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
