This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
