I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
When are your genitals available?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
