The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
