just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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