Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
