apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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