I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
