i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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