i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
