And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
