You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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