Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
