Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
