Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
