were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize