maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize