He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
there is glitter all over my balls
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