Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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