I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
