You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I believe in your delicious
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
