if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
