after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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