evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
