i permit you to call me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
