I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
