I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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