I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
