garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
