Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
