I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
