apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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