Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
