My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
