dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
