Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize