playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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