is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
