cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
