I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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