well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
