Screwed.edu
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
