I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
