I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
