Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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