The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
