I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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