I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
