I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
operation have a gay friend backfired
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
