I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
