I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
