these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
